Jumping off the Bridge

This weekend I encountered two reports about a new documentary called The Bridge, one on the ABC program 20/20, and another in Sunday's New York Times.

The creator of The Bridge positioned cameras, some were mobile, while others were fixed, and filmed the Golden Gate Bridge in San Francisco from Jan 1, 2004 - Dec 31, 2004. Each camera was positioned one mile away from the bridge. During this time they captured the suicides of 24 people. Each of these people fell over 200 ft, going about 75 miles per hour. The time from the jump off point to hitting the water was 4 seconds. The film maker, Eric Steel, wanted to capture these deaths in an effort to raise awareness about suicide and mental illness. The documentary weaves footage of these suicidal leaps, with commentary by family members, who essentially talk about their lost loved one, and the impact of suicide on their lives.

This documentary has brought up all sorts of ethical questions about filming such a thing, and then presenting it to mass audiences. One problem is that Steele didn't tell family members he had this footage while interviewing them. He only revealed it later, and showed each and every one of them what he had captured on tape. Also, it raises questions about the "objective" stance of the documentarian, begging the question, how can you just stand there and film while someone is getting ready to jump off this bridge? Steel says that many times camera operators called the emergency hotline to alert someone that an individual was getting ready to kill themselves. He says they prevented 6 deaths that year by doing so.

The New York Times article likens this documentary to snuff films, capturing the deaths of people on camera, while placing the viewer in a particularly terrible voyeuristic position. They don't buy Steel's intent, and argue that with films of this nature the wide gulf (in this case, 1 mile) between viewer and the viewed can never be, well, "bridged."

Of course I want to see it. I think it's a fascinating concept. Apparantly more suicides occur here every year than at any other public monument. People have been urging city officials to erect a suicide prevention wall to make it more difficult to jump. One person actually survived an intentional fall in 2000, and is now the biggest anti-suicide advocate, and instrumental in trying to get city officials to build the wall.

jb

The Worst Diagnosis

my mother has alzeimer's disease. there, i said it. and saying it makes me teary eyed. gives me a lump in my throat. makes me short of breath. this diagnosis was confirmed last week, after she spent several days in the hospital. she was taken there after calling my sister at 7:00 in the morning to say that someone had broken into her house. my sister arrived, minutes later, to find her bedroom completely trashed as if an intruder had, indeed, been there. but there was no intruder. my mother had become confused, disoriented and was apparantly thrashing around the room. my sister found her black and blue, murmuring illogically.

she is out of the hospital now, and all her vital signs are fine. but she can no longer live alone. my sisters are taking turns staying with her, and keeping her at their houses. we want to keep her at home as long as possible, but we know that day will come when we will no longer be able to care for her, she will no longer recognize us. she will be taken to one of those awful hospitals where nobody cares about you. my mother, surrounded by underpaid, overworked strangers, not being able to recognize people she loved.

i don't want to rank diseases, but alzheimer's is the worst diagnosis for someone that you love. time. memory. time. memory. we are all running out of time with her, and she is running out of time and memory. and pretty soon all we will have of her is memories.

since receiving this news, i no longer see in color. it's all black and white and meaningless and stupid.

jb

Mountaintop Removal Video

Mountaintop Removal Movie from iLoveMountains.org

This is a brief, but informative video of what mountaintop removal mining looks like, and its impact on the communities where it is practiced. For more info check out this

Can I Get a ......Thesis?

The writing process has really got me down. Lately, I've had more trouble writing than ever. Excluding public school education I have been writing for years - first as a radio news journalist, writing copy quickly and frequently, and then as an academic writing paper after paper, culminating in that hellacious writing project called the dissertation.

Since May of this year, I have been trying to write a fresh, new article on my research subject. Two weeks last May I banged out 25 pages of Feminist Theory, looking at the ways in which it ignores considerations of class. Contained within that overview was a discussion of two popular books that focus on Feminist activism, which I "argued" also skirted around class issues. Despite the length, the paper has no thesis. No central point.

Yesterday, I read transcripts of interviews I did over the summer with members of the Coal River Mountain Watch in West Virginia, hoping to incorporate this research into this existing article to reorient Feminist theoretical production, using the activism of this group to highlight class, and argue for more attention to class issues by feminists.

oy vey. This last paragraph reveals my predicament. I still have no thesis, and I am at a loss to develop one. I have tons of information, but no central point, and no writing plan of action.

I used to be such an organized, systematic writer. I knew what I wanted to say, and where I was going with my material. Don't know what has happened, but increasingly I feel like I'm walking in mud in the middle of a deep forest on a rainy and windy night.

jb

Texting Obsession

I am developing one. It all started about a month ago when I got a text from a friend who simply asked "do u text"? After many painstakingly slow attempts to figure out the texting capabilities in my less than fancy phone, and to write a simple message, I was able to reply "no, but am trying."

Now I am becoming a texting fiend, writing to everyone I know with a cell phone asking the same question: "do u text?" I'm still slow, trying to memorize the number of punches for each letter of the alphabet on the phone key pad, so that I don't have to actually look at the keypad while punching (or is it typing??) Anyway......

What is it about this form of communication that is so enjoyable? I like it because it doesn't require the committment, the obligations of a phone conversation. And for someone who has never really enjoyed phone communication, texting is quick, painless and fun. It's also better than email because of its mobility, and instant response.

The only downside: Our phones don't have a texting plan because when I signed up I never thought I would be into this shit. So, we have been charged 10 cents a message, and I sent hundreds of them last month. Ouch. We are now getting on a big 'ole plan, so I can keep my fingers humming and my friends in constant contact.

jb

This has to stop.

This is a pic of mountatintop removal coal mining, as practiced in Appalachia, and Wyoming. This was taken on the metro in D.C,. and is an ad for a the campaign Stop Mountaintop Removal.

You can also find more info here

Mountaintop Removal has been devastating Appalachia for 10 years now. It has to stop. Last year it was voted the most UNDER-REPORTED story in the U.S.

jb

Trip to D.C. (Part III)

Anne on the metro, after walking miles and miles.
Picture on the bathroom wall of Phase I, a gay bar in D.C.
our lovely room at Akwaaba. Dig the blue hues.
from the airplane window, coming home.