Brokeback Mountain and Other Stuff

i've been busy as hell this year, or this month, i should say. i have had several "assignments" i've had to complete: a book review for environmental ethics, syllabi proposal for the environmental studies dept. and an article that needed to be revised for submission to pennsylvania history: mid-atlantic studies journal. the past couple of days i have been relaxing and doing recreational reading. as some of you know, i made a new year's resolution to read more novels in 2006, so i am a quarter of the way into my first one: zadie smith's on beauty. so far I'm not sure what all the hype is about. This book is so unspectacular.

what else have i been up to? i managed to watch 3 films this week: the squid and the whale, junebug, and finally, brokeback mountain. enjoyed all of them tremendously. last night we saw brokeback mountain, and i'm still reeling. it has left me with such a profound sense of meloncholia. it's a very moving film, and i think some of the hype is deserved. it is essentially a movie about love, longing and loss. it portrayed the frustrations, secrecy and silences of gay love/life really well. i cried like a baby in that film. it is so fucking sad. i wonder, do you have to be gay to fully appreciate or "get" the point of this movie? or is its themes universal enough to appeal to a wide audience? are people left with the message that heteronormativity, its exclusions and requirements make it difficult if not impossible for other types of love and relationships to be fully realized? is this critique of heterosexism apparant?

i would love to talk to other people who have seen this movie - gay and straight. as a queer woman watching this, i could relate to the frustrations of not being able to express such deep, emotional feelings of love to other people, to a world that prohibits them. i could also relate to the frustrations involved in being closeted ( most gay people have been at one time or another), and to the uncertain, scary feelings of having an attraction that you know is not acceptable. some people want to deny it, suppress it, make it go away etc. and this was seen particulary in the character of ennis in this film. i could also relate to the lies, secrecy, and obfuscations associated, to a certain degree, with gay life. we are terrific at avoidance, cover-ups, and outright lying. because of heteronormativity we have to be, and these are lessons that we learn almost unconsciously. so, some aspects of this movie were very gay specific, while others were not. most everyone, gay or straight, knows what its like to love someone deeply, to long for them, and the pain of losing them. these are the universal themes. and this movie is very popular, undoubtedly appealing to a large audience - gay and straight.

i was struck by the reactions of the crowd. we went to the 7:00 showing last night (tuesday) and the theatre was half to three quarters full. during the first sex scene of the movie, some twit in the front row was laughing. puh-leeze. gay sex is just so fucking comical, isn't it? that pissed me off. also, at some intimate moments, people gasped. and finally, some people cried. but the laughing and gasping made me angry - those reactions are offensive. what they say is that gay life, love, and sex is a fucking joke, and is utterly shocking. to me, straight sex is comical and repulsive but i don't laugh or murmer in disgust when i watch movie upon movie with scenes of naked straight people fucking. i wish hets would extend me the same courtesy, but, alas, many of them are ignorant twits.

the crowd reaction, while irritating, also made me realize that we need more films like this. we need more representation period. gay people have to be openly out, and artists need to explore gay themes more. our lives have to become normalized because they are, indeed, normal.

more later, i'm off to enjoy some of the australian open.

jb